not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize