i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
