Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
