so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
