I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
