On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
