I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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