I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
