those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Randomize
