Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
