the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
