I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
