Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
