You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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