uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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