Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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