idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
