i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
