so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize