Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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