You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize