we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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