My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
