so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize