Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
