Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
