It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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