I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
