Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
