shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
