Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My ass is underappreciated
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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