Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
