At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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