is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
