It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
