I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
