Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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