Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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