I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Randomize