I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
