the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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