He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
