Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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