i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
