oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
