But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
