What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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