dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
