I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize