i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
