The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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