This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
