rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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