We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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