Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

Small penises have feelings too.

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(443): View more from Maryland

he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.

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(310): View more from California

Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.

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(805): View more from California

I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.

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(315): View more from New York

mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.

(315): View more from New York

hahahaha slap the bag.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere

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(714): View more from California

Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(

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