so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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