there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
