hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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