how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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